Visceral reactions

Trying to understand homophobia, a psychoanalyst friend of mine puts it this way: in our heterosexist society, the defining issue for men is proving that they are not "unmasculine." Denouncing gay men is a way of assuring themselves that they are "not like that."

While I think that's true, I believe there is also a visceral feeling of disgust that plays out in many people who need to reject the possibility for themselves. When it was still a new thing to be talked about in "polite society," two men as lovers conjured up in straight people's minds thoughts of what they actually do sexually; and many found that disgusting. That's gradually changing. (News flash: many gay men also find what heterosexual couples do in bed disgusting.)

At traditional heterosexual weddings, there are so many other thoughts about the bride and groom and their lives that most people don't dwell on images of the couple copulating, especially since it's no longer generally assumed that the wedding night will be their "first time."

So too, now that gay couples are so ubiquitous on tv and on the street and at family reunions, there are other things that come to mind about their relationship, say, or where they live, etc.; so for most people their thoughts don't necessarily go immediately to genital activity, as they once did.

We aren't there yet with transgender phenomena. In today's AJC was an article about an editor employed by the GA General Assembly to help with the written crafting of bills, who was fired in 2006 when he began coming to work dressed as the woman he was transitioning into. She is now suing for wrongful dismissal.

Here's my point. Quoting from the deposition given by her boss:

"It makes me think about things I don't like to think about, particularly at work. It think it's unsettling to think of someone dressed in women's clothing with male sexual organs inside that clothing."

Well, at least he is candid and tells what really bothers him rather than hiding behind "it's bad for office morale" or "it would upset our clients." But is that a reason to fire someone who has been a good employee?

Much of bigotry, I think, stems from the lack of empathy. As we learned in combating prejudice against gays in psychoanalytic organizations, the most effective single factor was getting to know a gay person on a personal level, whether it was a colleague, a family member, or a friend. Then you have something other than your own images of disgusting (to you) genital sex to associate with gay persons.

If it follows the same pattern, transgender individuals will gradually become more familiar to us all and therefore "untainted" by such genital images and averse visceral reactions.

Ralph