This started with reporters asking President Trump why he had gone so long without saying anything about the four soldiers who were killed in an ambush in Niger. Instead of answering this question about his glaring silence on what happened, Trump pivoted and responded as though he had been accused of not making condolence calls to the surviving families.
In doing so, he defensively accused Barack Obama of not making condolence calls (a lie) and claimed that he himself always does (another lie). So then he hurried the next day to make the call to the wife of the latest fallen soldier from this Niger ambush, Sgt. LaDavid Johnson, whose body was just being returned to the U.S.
Rep. Wilson happens to be an old family friend of the Johnsons and had known the sergeant all of his life. She was in the limousine with the wife, Myeisha Johnson, on the way to meet the returning body of her husband, when the president's call came. So she turned on the speaker phone so that it could be heard by other family members in the car.
Thus Rep. Wilson heard the president's words, which she says included the statement to Ms. Johnson that her husband "knew what he was getting into when he signed up, but it still hurts." And after Trump's false statements to the media about how he handles condolence calls, Rep. Wilson spoke to the press to say that this comment had felt to the family like disrespect coming from the president. And the whole episode, then, caused a backlash of bad publicity for the president.
Of course, the Tweeter-in-Chief didn't take long to send out a tweet, attacking Wilson, saying she had "totally fabricated" his words and claiming that he had "proof."
Now here is the first mistake. An appropriate response from an empathic president would have been: "I regret that what I said came across to those hearing it with a different meaning from what I intended . I deeply apologize for adding to the pain and terrible sense of loss at this difficult time." Period. Leave it at that.
But the ever-defensive Trump had to accuse the family friend of lying, then added to the insult by accusing her of inappropriately "listening in" on a private conversation, and then spreading her "lies" to the media. Somewhere in this flurry of tweets, Trump also said, in response to the backlash from those defending Obama's sensitive handling of condolences, "Ask Gen. Kelly if Obama called him."
An aunt of Sgt. Johnson, who was also in the car and heard the president's words, confirmed the accuracy of Rep. Wilson's account. That is, they contradicted the president's statement. The nuance may have been misunderstood, but no way was it "totally fabricated," as Trump had claimed.
Chief of Staff Gen. Kelly, then went to the press room to give a 20 minute, deeply moving discourse on exactly what procedures are followed in handling the bodies of fallen soldiers, emphasizing the reverence and respect. He detailed the process of notifying the families and the almost sacred tone that they try to maintain.
In doing so he spoke publicly for the first time about his own loss, saying that, when his son was killed, a military condolence officer had told him something similar -- that his son had signed up for this life, knew what the risks were, and that he was doing what he wanted to be doing. Further, Gen Kelly said, that was helpful to him; and so, when the president asked him what he could say to Sgt. Johnson's widow, he had suggested saying something similar. {Which, by the way, confirms that Wilson's quote was not "entirely fabricated."]
In doing so he spoke publicly for the first time about his own loss, saying that, when his son was killed, a military condolence officer had told him something similar -- that his son had signed up for this life, knew what the risks were, and that he was doing what he wanted to be doing. Further, Gen Kelly said, that was helpful to him; and so, when the president asked him what he could say to Sgt. Johnson's widow, he had suggested saying something similar. {Which, by the way, confirms that Wilson's quote was not "entirely fabricated."]
Again, that would have been fine, if Kelly had stopped there. But he didn't. He went on to attack Rep. Wilson himself, calling her "selfish" for politicizing this and claiming that in 2015 she had used the occasion of the dedication of a new FBI headquarters building in Florida to brag about her own efforts in getting funding to build the building. He said she had claimed that, with one phone call to President Obama, she had gotten him to approve the $20 million for the building. Gen. Kelly called Rep. Wilson an "empty barrel," meaning that an empty barrel makes a louder sound when struck.
But what Gen. Kelly said about Rep. Wilson has been proved false by a video of the speech she gave. She did mention her role in speeding up the legislative process to get congress to approve naming the building for the two FBI agents killed in the line of duty; but it was not so much self-aggrandizement as it was about how the legislative leaders had cooperated to speed up the process so the FBI heroes' names could be on the building when it opened.
But Gen. Kelly's point was that she had bragged that she had gotten the funding for the building from President Obama. Rep. Wilson was not even a member of congress when the funding for the building was raised. Gen. Kelly was wrong, perhaps from a mistaken memory. But the White House has only doubled down on its defense, has not admitted that Trump was wrong or that Gen. Kelly was mistaken.
Instead they have continued attacks on Rep. Wilson, Trump even saying that she is "killing the Democrat [sic] Party!." And blaming her for grandstanding by "listening in" and politicizing what should have been a private, "sacred" conversation. They completely ignored Rep. Wilson's long-standing relationship with the family and the fact that it was Sgt. Johnson's widow who had switched the call to speaker phone so that all the family could hear.
And let's pause a moment to think about pots and kettles being called black. Does anyone grandstand and take credit more undeservedly than Donald Trump, who just two days ago ludicrously gave himself a "10" rating for the FEMA response in Puerto Rico?
Maria Cardona, writing in The Hill, called Kelly's news briefing "a stunning development in what already had become a vulgar couple of days; a sacrosanct ceremonial act -the president calling the families of fallen soldiers to express his deepest sympathies - had turned into a series of insults and accusations, started by President Trump, himself." [emphasis added]
Cardona called Gen. Kelly's remarks "jaw-dropping," in that they were made from the press room of the White House, "whose occupant was the perpetrator of the vile actions that violently stripped the sacredness out of the very things -- and people -- Kelly was talking about." She then mentioned Trump's attacks on Gold Star parents during the Republican national convention, his repeated attacks on Sen. John McCain's heroism because "he was captured. I prefer people who aren't captured." And what about his attacks on the mayor of San Juan, PR who dared to say that the federal government was not doing enough to help the hurricane victims? Cardona continues:
"I understand why Gen. Kelly was upset. After all, his own son's death had been brought into the putrid spiral of Trump rhetoric. What's more, I am not convinced that it was Gen. Kelly's choice to come out and play the role of partisan pundit and political henchman for Trump.
"But he did, and by doing so, he has descended into the muck of uncivil partisanship that he himself was deriding.
"Did Gen. Kelly have to insult Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.) who was standing up for the young Gold-Star widow who felt Trump had disrespected her, the memory of her fallen husband and their family? What's worse, we now know some of the things Gen. Kelly asserted about the congresswoman are not true.
"Yes, the Congresswoman took it up a notch by going on TV to stick up for the young wife who was upset by Trump's call. But Gen. Kelly is a retired four-star Marine general and chief of staff to the president of the United States. Isn't it his role to calm the storm, represent real valor and integrity and seek to unify the country after an incredibly difficult but self-inflicted misstep, especially when his boss is completely unable and unequipped to do so?"
Cardona further suggested that Gen. Kelly's advice to Trump about what to say was inappropriate, given the very different circumstances:
"I don't believe Gen. Kelly intended to give his boss bad advice, but . . . The words 'he knew what he was signing up for . . .' or any variation thereof, will fall very differently on the ears of an older, lifelong Marine general than they would on the ears of a 24-year-old mother of two -- who has another on the way -- especially when they are coming from someone who didn't even seem to know her husband's name."
And I [Ralph] am further disillusioned by this whole, extended exchange, because we've all been hoping that Gen. Kelly could somehow -- if not able to make his boss grow up and grow into his office -- at least be able to provide stability and sanity and honesty and integrity to the office of the presidency.
What this proves is that Gen. Kelly is only human -- that he had to respond personally to try to clean up one of his boss's messes, and that perhaps he was thrown somewhat off balance by the necessity to talk in public about his own still-painful loss of his son, which he has always wanted to avoid. The act of talking about his son -- in order to clean up Donald Trump's mess -- must have been excruciating and maddening.
Even if Gen. Kelly's behavior is understandable, I feel even less secure than I did when we could still believe he had magical powers no one has ever had over Donald Trump. Instead, it seems that Trump has tarnished Kelly.
Ralph
PS: So what was all this supposed to distract us from? Oh, yes. Why were our soldiers in Niger? And why were they ambushed by forces that we obviously didn't expect, since we had provided no air cover for them? Was it an intelligence failure? We, the public, do now yet know.
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