This is an essential capacity in negotiating with opposing nations and their leaders. Obama has it; george bush doesn't. It's not just Obama's experience as a community organizer; it's the way his mind works in relation to other people that made him an effective community organizer. Bush, in contrast, saw everything only from his own perspective: "You're either with us or you're against us." "You either support our actions or you hate democracy."
As Drew explains, it's a develomental step that
begins in preschool but takes years to develop: the capacity to take the perspective of the other -- to imagine, reflect on, and respond in accordance with inferences about what the other person sees, thinks, and feels. . . . children's growing awareness that other people have mental states and that the contents of other people's minds are not necessarily the same as their own. . . . in adults, all of these phenomena are associated with more secure and mature relationships.Another aspect of this is the capacity to imagine how one's words might be heard by the other. In the runup to the Iraq war:
A reporter asked Bush whether the Turks were on board, to which he curtly replied, "The Turks know what we expect of them" -- as if they were his errant teenage children or our unruly U.S. colony. It hadn't occurred to him that he had just immensely complicated the task of any Turkish leader who had any inclination to join his "coalition of the willing," not only because Turkey has a large Muslim population but also because Turkey elects its leaders, and any politician who appears to be taking his orders from Washington is not going to be in power for long. What was so striking was that Bush just didn't seem to understand -- or to care -- how his comments were heard.
This wasn't just swaggering cowboy diplomacy. It was preschool diplomacy, the kind of "I want it, so you give it to me" diplomacy that children practice before they understand that other kids have different feelings than they do or may want to play with the same toy, and that they have to negotiate for what they want when faced with conflicting intentions, desires, or understandings.
Somehow we knew that Obama's supposed "lack of experience" was trumped by something that would make him a better president. We talked about his intelligence, his judgment, his people skills. Now Drew has made it a little clearer. One of his greatest strengths is this capacity to imagine the other person's perspective -- coupled with other qualities of emotional maturity -- that make him such a different sort of human being and will make him a much different president. Of all his formidable assets as a leader, I think the most important one is his psychological maturity and his seeming lack of need to use the presidency to work out his inner demons and conflicts.
To be clear, this is not the same thing as being weak or easily manipulated. It means recognizing that others can be understood and recognized without necessarily agreeing with their position. It's more than just treating others with respect; it's recognizing their separate existence. Not recognizing the other's separateness and rights is demeaning and creates resentment.
Drew's article can be read in full at:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/drew-westen/obamas-impressive-beginni_b_162164.html
Ralph
Obama is extraordinarily gifted in his emotional intelligence and his capacity for trying on the other person's perspective, and especially in his ability to use those qualities in his policy and political dealings.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to imply, however, that this in itself is all that rare. Most adults have developed it to some extent. George Bush seems to have had it less than average -- and he certainly didn't seem to let it influence his behavior.
Another good example of his insensitivity was when he was at the European Summit meeting with other world leaders, and he walked up behind German Chancellor Angela Maerkel and started massaging her shoulders. It made her visibly uncomfortable.
Bush apparently was trying to be warm and familiar, and he did something he wanted to do -- without being aware what her reaction was or how he was violating the more formal etiquette that Europeans adopt in such situations.