Homophobia:Heterosexism::Racism: ?

We need a word to use for those insensitivities to racial differences that are based on habit and lack of awareness rather than demeaning hostility.

In the world of changing attitudes toward gay men and women, we call the comparable insensitivites "heterosexism," rather than "homophobia," to indicate that it results from simply having grown up in a society that was designed for opposite-sex attractions. Even people who are quite gay-friendly may slip into commonplace phrases that are so habitual that they don't think of the implications.

I was struck by a comparable thing having to do with race, or more specifically, skin color.

In an article about the recent White House state dinner for the Indian prime minister, Michelle Obama's gown -- with all its silver sequins -- was referred to as "flesh-colored." And there beside the article was a picture of Michelle looking lovely in this special dress created for the occasion. But it was anything but a match for the color of Michelle's skin.

Does this bear a hint of demeaning hostility? I don't think so. "Flesh-colored" is a staple in writing about clothes. But, like heterosexism, it became a color at a time when skin, in the world of fashion, was uniformly pink-and-yellow-tinged white.

Even after hatred and fear of difference have been expunged, we still have our habits of speech to change. It helps to realize that these unintended slurs are hurtful, even when no hurt is intended.

Ralph