Overcoming prejudice is personal

Again and again, we learn that the most effective fractor in overcoming anti-homosexual prejudice is knowing someone gay in a personal way that exposes the myths of stereotype and gives the opportunity for empathic feeling with the gay person.

As this was happening in the American Psychoanalytic Association, I saw again and again how often our straight supporters would eventually tell me about the gay brother or son, the lesbian daughter.

I have been struck by how the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral McMullen, has spoken with such awareness and genuine compassion on how wrong DADT is and how repeal is the right thing to do. It is in such contrast with the negative or grudgingly tolerant attitude of most of the military brass. As we say, "He gets it."

I heard last night, from a friend who knows, that Adm. McMullen has a gay son.

Another improbable supporter of gay rights was Barry Goldwater, although as I learn more about libertarianism, it's not so far-fetched that he would oppose government regulation of lives. But I also know that Goldwater had a gay grandson who was close to him. Sen. Goldwater's famous retort about his opposition to DADT was: It's not whether they are straight but whether they can shoot straight.

It doesn't always work that way; sometimes it simply hardens the opposition, as in Phyllis Schlafley, who has a gay son; Charles Socarides, virulent anti-gay psychoanalyst whose gay son was Clinton's Liaison to the GL community; and Sallie Fields, former head of the Georgia Christian Coalition and champion anti-gay activist, who has a lesbian daughter.

We will owe a great debt to Admiral McMullen for his leadership -- and great appreciation for the relationship he must have with his son.

Look to those in Congress who vote against type -- ie conservatives who vote for repeal -- and I'll place wagers that each of them has a close relative or friend who is gay.

Ralph