Get the big hook -- or maybe a butterfly net

Remember in those old movies about vaudeville -- when a terrible performer just keeps cracking unfunny jokes, then tries tap dancing, then starts doing card tricks, desperately trying to turn the audience's boos and jeers into cheers?

And then suddenly this giant hook extends out from the backstage wings and pulls the hapless performer off the stage    While from the other side of the stage, the guy with the dancing dog act makes a quick entrance trying to grab the crowd's attention.

Thhat's where we are with Newt and the Republican primary vaudeville act.   It's time for the hook.   Or maybe even a butterfly net might be necessary to capture this "angry little attack muffin" (Peggy Noonan's wonderful sobriquet for Newt) and put him away.

And there's Newt -- with yet one more trick up his sleeve -- "Let me just try this !!   I know they'll love me then.  Please, pretty please? . . . .No, not the hook !!!"  "NOOoooooooo.  I won't go!"

That's what Newt is saying now.   True, he had two wins in SC and GA and a total of 135 delegates to Romney's 660.  Since SC and GA, he has had a string of third and fourth place finishes, with a couple of distant seconds and no further prospects.   His campaign is in debt;  his main donor says he is at the end of his line.    One of his big consulting groups is filing for bankruptcy.

Here's the trick Newt is offering up now.    He will stay in the race to influence the GOP platform and force Romney to stick to a more conservative stance.

Big deal.    Nobody pays much attention to platforms these days, Newt.    Not if they are politically inconvenient.   They are policy statements that mollify some insiders,  but the voters could hardly care any less.   They listen to what the candidate says.  And you can bet that Romney is going to tell them what they want to hear, regardless of what's in the platform.

So, Newt.   Either you go quietly and peacefully, or it's the hook.   Don't make us call in the white coats with their big butterfly nets.    Make that the extra large size, please.

Ralph